A Squidsmas Surprise
by Sovereign and Unbroken
Summary: Agent Three gets an unexpected guest while shack-sitting for the Cap'n on Squidsmas Eve.


Lucky Charm huffed into his hands, hunched over and cursed Callie again for conning him into doing this. He loved the idea of giving the Cap'n Squidsmas off to spend time with Callie and Marie, and seeing as he had just got back from visiting his folks in Coralton for an early holiday, it made sense for him to take over guard duty. _But still_.

"Fuck this weather." Lucky muttered, rubbing his open palms together. He fumbled for the keys to the Cap'n's shack, and unlocked it as quickly as he could. Shaking off the bitter chill, he pressed the door open and stepped inside, slamming the door behind him. "Shit." He breathed, flexing his fingers for the sake of feeling something in them. "I hate the cold…"

Stepping forward, Lucky examined a note that had been tacked to the wall.

" _Hey, Three. Thanks again for doing this, we all appreciate it. The fridge is fully stocked. If you need anything, just call. Thanks! - Callie"_ Below Callie's signature was a small, almost taunting winking emoticon.

Lucky scoffed as he imagined the mocking tone Callie had in mind when she was writing the note. Lucky tore it from the wall, crumpled it up, and tossed it away, not even bothering to aim for the trash. Still feeling bitterly cold, he sent a cursory glance around and approached the thermostat. Cranking up the heat, Lucky finally felt satisfied as he heard the furnace below the shack start to spew hot air through the vents. With that out of the way, he shucked his heavy coat, letting it fall onto the floor.

Lucky went into the kitchen, immediately opening the fridge and ducking down to see what there was inside. Sitting on the top shelf, neatly wrapped in plastic and just waiting to be eaten was a plate of crab cakes. Lucky was half-tempted to have one, but knew the Cap'n would find out one way or another. Besides those, there was plenty of other foodstuffs to choose from, but nothing that caught Lucky's eye. Closing the bottom door of the fridge, Lucky opened up the freezer door and peered inside. This too was full, mostly with pre-made frozen dinners and lunches. Feeling hungry and lazy at the same time, Lucky randomly picked one, opened it up, and after glancing over the cooking instructions, he threw the plastic tray into the Cap'n's ancient microwave and left it to cook.

While his food cooked, Lucky peeled off another layer of clothing, leaving him in the t-shirt and pants he wore beneath all his cold-weather gear. Feeling better thanks to the heat flowing through the shack, he took a minute to stroll casually around the Cap'n's shack, examining things in detail like he had never been able to do before. The Cap'n had no TV, which perplexed and frustrated Lucky to no end, but he _did_ have a radio, which was always tuned into the Squid Sisters' radio news channel. Lucky avoided going near the Cap'n's bedroom out of respect, but nearly everything else was subject to an impromptu examination.

That stopped as the microwave's alarm went off, and Lucky went to retrieve his food. Steam wafted from the microwaved dinner as Lucky brought it out into the living room and seated himself. His meal was some kind of pasta, and he ate quickly despite how often he burned his tongue. With his food gone in just a few minutes, Lucky kicked his feet up onto the table, put his arms behind his head, and closed his eyes as he contemplated what he was supposed to do while spending Squidsmas Eve and Squidsmas all by his lonesome.

* * *

Lucky woke with a yelp as something slapped against his forehead. He tried to reach up and cradle his head, but found he couldn't. His arms were bounded to his sides.

"What the fuck?" Lucky shouted, squirming amidst the rope coiled around his torso.

" _What the fuck_ yourself, asshole!"

Lucky's eyes widened as a slim figure stepped into his vision. He could immediately recognize the figure as an octoling, with her glowing goggles, pale skin, and striking red tentacles standing out even in the dim light.

"Who the hell are you?" Lucky demanded.

The octoling stepped forward, sneering down at Lucky and putting a fist on her hip. "Don't pretend you don't recognize me, _Agent Three_."

"I swear, I've never seen you before." Lucky replied adamantly. His tone changed as he leaned as far forward as he could, squinting at the woman before him. " _I think_ I've never seen you before, at least."

"You're full of shit and you know it." She said with a scoff.

"While that may be true, I don't see how it's relevant."

"You're a wordy one, aren't you?"

Lucky laughed and shook his head. "I've got a silver tongue, and I'm pretty good at using it." He punctuated the statement with a wink.

"What do you- What?!" The octoling's cheeks flushed, and Lucky braced himself for a punch that never came. "Shut your mouth, idiot! I didn't come here to listen to your inane rambling, I came to get revenge. I'm going to-"

"Revenge for what?" Lucky interrupted, trying his damnedest to hide a grin. "I've already said, I don't know you."

Lucky idly wondered if this would be the day he died as the octoling let out a frustrated growl and stormed toward him. She seized his collar and shook him like a woman possessed. After a brief moment, she stopped and breathed out, and though she didn't release Lucky's collar, she seemed far calmer.

"You're saying you don't recognize me at all?" She growled, leaning down, putting her face inches from his.

"Not one bit."

She growled again, shoving Lucky back and tearing her goggles from her head. "You did this to me!" She cried, glaring daggers at Lucky.

Try as he might, Lucky couldn't find anything wrong with her, at first. Leaning forward, he squinted at her and saw what she was talking about - there were scars across her lips, where they had been broken open. They were barely noticeable, but they were certainly there.

"Oh, shit, did I do that? Sorry 'bout that." Lucky replied with a shrug.

Lucky's ears rang as the octoling cuffed him, and it took a moment for the stars to fade from his vision.

"Sorry? _Sorry_?! You piece of shit! I go through all the trouble of tracking you, getting you alone, and apprehending you, and all you can say is _sorry_?"

"Wait, wait… Hit me again." Lucky said slowly, still stunned from the first blow.

His captor obliged him, hitting him even harder than before. His head lolled back this time, and it took Lucky nearly a minute to right himself once more.

"I remember that punch." Lucky slurred. "We fought…. In the power plant, a while ago. I lost that fight."

"Not before you gave me these scars." The octoling said firmly.

"I already apologized for that." Lucky replied with a shrug. "If it makes you feel any better, you and your asshole friends gave me plenty of bruises much worse than that."

"Shut up!" She snapped, turning away from Lucky and clenching her fists. "I'm here to get revenge, damn it!"

"Then can we get on with this? I kind of have stuff to do."

"I said shut up!"

Lucky flinched as the octoling cocked her arm back to strike him again. Instead, she just laughed and sneered at him.

"No…" The octoling said slowly. "We can't _get on_ with it. I'm going to make this last."

"If you had winked when you said that, tonight could be a whole lot more fun for everyone."

The octoling's cheeks colored, and she seemed at a loss for words. "Are you - are you coming onto me?!"

"Do you want me to?"

The blow Lucky had been anticipating came, leaving what he assumed was a bright red hand-print on his cheek.

"I'm sick of you inklings and your hedonistic ways! All you do is indulge in your baser instincts; it's disgusting!"

"If you think that's disgusting, you should see my browser history."

The octoling scowled at him, but after a moment, something seemed to click in her head. Smirking in a way that made Lucky uncomfortable, she came closer to him, leaning forward until his personal space was invaded. Lucky stared into her eyes, dumbfounded as her hand traveled up the outside of his thigh. For the briefest moment, he thought that _she_ was coming onto _him_ , but that notion was quickly dispelled as her hand slipped into his pocket, taking his phone. Her other hand similarly snatched Lucky's wallet, and she stepped away, turning her back to him.

"God damn it, don't touch my stuff!" Lucky snapped, struggling against his bonds in earnest. "You can beat me up, tie me down and berate me, but don't you touch my shit!"

"Ooh, are you mad?" She taunted, glancing over her shoulder and giving him a wink.

"Did you just - no, damn it!" Lucky's rage continued unabated, and he threw himself forward, landing on what felt like a table with an _oomph_. "Once I get out of this, I'm _totally_ gonna fuck your shit up. Like, _sooo_ -" He stopped, realizing that he _knew_ the table he was lying atop. "We're in the Cap'n's shack! You didn't even kidnap me, you just barged in here and tied me up!"

The octoling ignored him, and Lucky heard his phone power on. Gritting his teeth, Lucky rolled, falling off the table and landing on the floor with a grunt. Rolling onto his stomach, he crawled along the floor as quickly as his state would allow him.

"I swear, I'll bite your friggin' kneecaps off!" Lucky growled, coming up beside the octoling.

"Be quiet, _Lucky Charm_." She said offhandedly, stepping over Lucky. Looking up at her, he could see her face clearly lit up in the blue light from his phone. "I've got some juicy secrets to learn."

 _I knew I should have locked that thing._

"You said something about browser history, didn't you..?" She asked deviously.

"That was a joke," Lucky replied, rolling onto his back. "Seriously, don't. It's rude to go through other people's things."

"Let's-"

"Don't."

"I said-"

"Seriously. Don't."

"I'm trying-"

"Don't do it!"

The fight drained out of Lucky as he received a boot to the side. He let out a short gasp and curled up on himself, instinctively protecting his softest parts.

"There's plenty more where that came from if you don't keep your mouth shut." She hissed. Several long moments passed as the octoling did something with Lucky's phone. " _Now_ , let's see what we have… Movie reviews… Disinfecting cuts… bus tickets, online shopping, dirty vids dot com- wait, what was that?" Lucky exhaled as he saw a deep blush cover the octoling's face. "B-busty redheads..?"

"I told you not to look…" Lucky grumbled, trying to keep at least a scrap of dignity. "What a man does with his phone in the privacy of his own apartment is his own business…"

His hopes of keeping his dignity were thoroughly dashed, however, when he heard wanton moaning from his phone. Lucky found it hard to believe, but for the first time in ages, he found himself properly embarrassed. His embarrassment turned to mild outrage as his phone clattered noisily to the floor. Giving an annoyed grunt, Lucky twisted onto his stomach and awkwardly climbed to his knees, nearly toppling himself over in the process.

"That thing's not cheap you know." Lucky growled.

The octoling turned towards him, her eyes glazed-over and her features blank. "Th-that was…"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. You caught me, I'm a filthy horndog. I've heard it before." Lucky scoffed at her. "Don't go getting on your high-seahorse, 'cuz then it'll hurt more when you fall. I'd rather be a pervert than some pent-up fascist."

"Pent-up…" The octoling muttered, slowly stepping towards Lucky. There was a certain glint in her eye that immediately raised several red-flags. "Need some release…"

She was suddenly in Lucky's personal space, with one hand on his shoulder, holding him still. Despite her slight build, her grip was strong, and Lucky found himself unable to pull away from her. She slid even closer to him, and as her free hand slipped beneath her pants, comprehension dawned on Lucky.

"I _need_ this…" She said huskily, tilting her head back and pushing her hand further beneath her pants. She gave a throaty moan, and eventually withdrew her hand. Her fingers glistened in the dim light, and Lucky wondered if this was a situation he wanted to be in. "Hold still, I _need_ this…"

Releasing Lucky, the octoling bit her lip and unfastened her belt and hurriedly pulled her pants down, leaving a pair of dark panties that clung tightly to her hot skin. Those came down a moment later, and the scent of a deeply built-up lust hit Lucky like a brick wall. Suddenly, Lucky found his mouth watering, and a heat building within him.

"You _really do_ need this…" Lucky said offhandedly, breathing deeply of the octoling's scent. " _Buuuuut_ …."

" _But_?" She whined.

"I don't eat out strangers." Lucky said adamantly. "Gimme a name, and I'll blow your mind, baby-girl."

"D-Delilah. Now _come onnnn_." Replied the octoling, pushing her hips forward insistently.

Lucky obliged her, leaning forward and trailing a long lick up the inside of her thigh, stopping just short of her lips. She shivered above him, putting a hand on the back of his head and pressing his face into her groin. Lucky resisted for as long as he could, but eventually, he gave in, knowing it was useless to fight against Delilah's lust.

Lucky was content to take a more passive role for now, simply taking the abuse as Delilah mashed her pelvis into his face. All he had to do was stick his tongue out and Delilah took care of the rest, needily grinding her slit against him. At length, her pace slowed, and eventually she stopped entirely, either too tired or sick of the meager amount of pleasure she got from it to continue.

"Do _something_ …" Delilah pleaded, wiggling her hips for emphasis.

Lucky obliged her again, leaning forward to better get at her delicate folds. His tongue circled around her entrance several times, before plunging into her depths. Lucky pressed his mouth against her groin, thrusting his tongue as deep into her as he could while his upper lip tickled at her pleasure-buzzer. A spasm rocked Delilah's body as Lucky guessed the beginning of an orgasm built up with her. Were his mouth not occupied, Lucky would have smirked. Instead, he moved his tongue as best he could while sucking on Delilah's clit.

" _Ohhhhh_ n-n-no-" Delilah began, but her words turned into an ecstatic cry as her orgasm rocked through her body.

Every muscle in her body suddenly went taut, and her slit squeezed down on Lucky's intruding tongue. Her cry cut off as suddenly as it started, and her mouth formed a silent _o_ of pleasure. Lucky remained as he was, determined to wring Delilah's orgasm for all it was worth before he let her come down from her high.

Eventually, she did indeed come down, her hips twitching as the last of her climax faded away. When she was steady, Lucky pulled away from her groin, licking her taste from his lips and shaking the juices from his chin.

"Damn," Lucky said at a length. "You came _hard_."

"That was…" Delilah began breathily, "That was… Wow."

"My turn." Lucky said with a grin.

"Wha-"

With a grunt, Lucky lurched to his feet, locking lips with Delilah and pressing his still-bound chest to hers. With her pants around her ankles, she could only stagger back a few steps before she fell, landing on the table with a hearty _thump_. With Delilah still coming down from her orgasm and dazed from Lucky's sudden actions, she had no chance of catching Lucky as he quickly changed form, turning into a squid and back again in the blink of an eye. The rope - once tied tightly around his torso - now lay in a heap at his feet.

Delilah was utterly dumbstruck as Lucky unfastened his belt and pulled his pants and boxers down. He wasted no time, quickly flipping Delilah over so her face was on the table and her rump waving tantalizingly in the air.

"Like I said," Lucky began, breathing out as he hot-dogged Delilah's cheeks, " _My turn_."

"You-you could have done that the whole time?"

"Yeah. Around halfway through getting you off I realized it."

"Why didn't you do it right away?"

Lucky laughed and pulled his hips away, lining himself up with Delilah's entrance. "Because there are two things I love; letting a pretty girl have her way…" With a grunt, Lucky slammed himself as deep into Delilah as he could, leaning forward to lightly tug on her tentacles. "And _busty redheads_."

Delilah nearly went limp as Lucky entered her, and, since he heard no protest, Lucky proceeded to hammer himself into Delilah with little regard for anything else. Shifting his posture, Lucky slid both of his hands to Delilah's waist, pausing his desperate thrusts just to give Delilah a little spank. She yelped, suddenly aware of the situation.

"F-fuck!" Delilah cried, arching her back to press herself needily against Lucky.

Lucky continued to piston his hips into Delilah's upraised rear, more concerned about his own pleasure than hers. _I mean, I did a great job of getting her off… I deserve a little something, right?_ Delilah continued to cry out, moaning as wantonly as the star of the porno that had started the whole affair. The irony wasn't lost on Lucky, but he didn't have the time or the desire to point it out to his partner, choosing instead to drive himself into her depths with a renewed vigor as he felt something bubble up within his loins.

"Shitshitshit!" Lucky called out, pulling himself quickly from Delilah and sliding his member back between her cheeks. Grunting, he hot-dogged her once more, squeezing her sides as his climax boiled over.

Lucky's hips twitched, and ropes of white shot from his tip in time with each thrust, painting Delilah's rear white. His breathing went ragged as his orgasm faded, and with a satisfied sigh, Lucky slumped against Delilah, giving her side an appreciative pat.

"That was great." Was all Lucky could manage.

Delilah gave a throaty moan in response. At a length, they separated, pulling their pants on in an awkward silence.

"So, there's a shower in there." Lucky said at last, pointing to the bathroom door in the corner. "You can, uh, wash up, and, maybe we can… I dunno, talk about something."

Delilah nodded and wordlessly went to the bathroom. Lucky waited for a moment, and with a mischievous grin, stepped in after her. Her back was turned as she stripped, peeling her shirt and bra off before kicking out of her pants and panties.

"You look great."

"Shit!" Delilah screamed, turning around and covering herself. "What are you doing?"

"Calm down, hot stuff." Lucky replied casually, pulling his shirt off. "We just fucked - you were great, by the way - I can handle seeing you naked. And I figured we could was each other's backs or somethin'."

Delilah squinted at Lucky for a moment, before shrugging and turning away. Lucky could see she was pretending not to stare at his crotch as his lower body as bared, but ignored it and started the water. Not long after, the both of them were under a stream of hot water, washing one another with the tender, hesitant touch of new lovers.

As Delilah turned away to get bodywash, Lucky pressed himself against her back and wrapped his arms around her waist. She let out a short, cute gasp, but relaxed in his arms.

"For an inkling, and an Agent who has done great harm to my people… You're a decent person." Delilah said pensively.

"Well, normally, when someone tries to kidnap me, I kick their asses…" Lucky replied with a shrug, pulling Delilah flush against him. " _Buuuut_ … It's Squidsmas, and all."

"Then I'm glad I decided to enact my vengeance on your holiday."

"Me too. But, uh, no one's gonna be here until tomorrow night…" Lucky began. He lightly bit on Delilah's ear, and slid a hand up her waist to gently cup her breast. She moaned softly, putting one of her arms back around Lucky's neck. "We could always, y'know… Go _again_ …"

 **So, this is where almost all of my day has gone. I hope you guys enjoy it. Merry Squidsmas. Let it be known that I fucking love each and every one of you.**


End file.
